Extremists: In the Throws (Throes) of Passion and How I Found Psych-K

Everything is all together good or all together bad, right?  What is a middle ground anyways?  There is no grey when the world is either absent of color or consuming all the color.  It is or it is not.  All things are right or wrong.  Black or white, amirite?!  Throwing oneself on either side of the passion spectrum is quite consuming.  In an attempt to personify the destruction of extreme thought cycles that become perfectionist behavior I will speak through my experience.  In addition the glory that is Psych-K’s ability to disarm such self-sabotage. 

Living on the edge

Did you know that the biology of the brain has an antiquated system that acts without our deliberate delegation?  Interestingly enough this regulation is determined by one of the smallest parts of our brain, the amygdala.  Neuroscience is a hot topic these days and thanks to social media and blogging forums I am speaking to an educated public.  Thus with brevity in mind I will narrow in on the demonstrative purpose of the amygdala per this post.  The amygdala is activated when we are presented with emotional, psychological, or physical danger.  It generally tells us to run or bare knuckle it immediately.  Imagine living with kind of neurological hijacking in day-to-day tasks, furthermore in personal relationships.

Theoretically when we experience trauma in our lives (particularly at a young age) and couple that with a biological predisposition for being high-strung the amygdala is on red alert a good portion of the time.  This neurological mechanism of fight-or-flight in hyper-drive over time can potentially prime an individual for emotional or psychological burnout.  The thought is analogous to the evidence of an addict’s physical and psychological highs and lows. 

Not to go too far into detail, but as a child I experienced trauma that would trigger this neurological reaction that would haunt me to adulthood.  I sought counseling both secular and Christian and reached out as a volunteer for those who had experienced similar tragedy and was righteously convinced that I had dealt with the issue.  All the while my rocky intimate relationships were demonstrative of a beautiful, untamable free-spirit rather than that of the psychologically injured.  It wasn’t until an all-time life low that I realized how influential this deeply-rooted flight-or-flight response was on my life.  Cue the antithesis of my intentions as a wife…cue my divorce. 

A dear, close friend and sister of mine who had experienced recent tumult herself introduced me to a secular (and progressive) form of therapy.  A skeptic to the core and foundationally against my religion I went not knowing that my entire life was about to change.  I was thoroughly released from all the garbage that that one fateful day as a child my amygdala went (and stayed) in over-drive.  AN ANSWER?!?!  An answer to years of fear of emotional, psychological, and/or physical threat…gone, in an instant.  It all fell off of me like a ragged garment I had never intended to put on.   

Hence the reason I am a facilitator of Psych-K and the most serendipitous and ironic element that ties in so perfectly to the analogy of extremes is that the techniques that are used to remedy me and others are called “a balance”.  A BALANCE?!  Of course a balance; this is exactly what my passionate extremist behavior needed.  Although, reconciling my religious beliefs is left for another blog.  The point is that, yes by nature I am a free-spirit and a liberal thinker, but my trauma produced a fear biology that had a decadent way of masquerading around as passion.  Dissonance and disagreement in intimate relationships are a sign of opportunity for growth, but tumult bred from fear is less than healthy. 

My hope in candidly sharing my personal experience is that we can have it all.  You can be a free-spirit and have healthy interpersonal relationships.  You can live a passionate life and not be the lead in One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest.  Live passion in a healthy fashion!  Until Next time…

Light, Love, and Blessings,

Haley Hallock

Relationships are our most prized resource in life. 
Treat them with divine care; as your footprint on 
someone's life will transcend through generations. -H.L.H.